i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
