dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Randomize
