Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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