walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
