i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
