My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
