This girl is more easily done than said...
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
you will always have a special place in my vag
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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