I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I am one with the molecules
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
