i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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