wake up i wanna do it froggy style
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I am full of burrito and curiosity
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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