I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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