I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
My ass is underappreciated
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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