12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
