he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize