I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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