I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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