This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
