If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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