like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
