Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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