I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
