idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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