my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
