jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize