You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
