who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Randomize
