So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Randomize
