this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Randomize
