you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
