party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize