Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
