why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize
