I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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