WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize