At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
