You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
