all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
