Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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