Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
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