If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
