Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
love makes seman taste better
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
