similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
