your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
There r osticjed everywhere
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
