$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Randomize