You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
