i just google imaged poop.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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