My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Randomize