All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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