So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Randomize