i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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