you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
