i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
