This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Randomize
