I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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