so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
