i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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