I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
You were trust falling into bushes
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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