the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
The best revenge is premature balding
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
