This girl is more easily done than said...
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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