pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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