If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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