life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
