I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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