lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
