I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
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