I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Randomize
