About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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