Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
My dad just said "fuck circus"
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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