I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
