these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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