It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Randomize
