Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
